Hi Everyone!

  To whoever is reading this. This will be my last post about this topic. Since I was about twenty-four or twenty-five, I started this blog after finding out about the community. I was excited and eager to learn as much as I can, not realizing that during this so-called "Journey with Women" was just a way to discover that I needed to be comfortable in my own skin to be successful. If any of you have read the Neil Strauss book called "The Game" that's where it all started for most guys who needed some guidance. I'm not going to bore you with the details of how I became who I am today. Don't get me wrong, I'm still learning a lot about women, I don't think you can never stop learning.
  I'm thirty-five now and reflecting back, I was a very insecure guy who wanted to just mess around with girls and get away with it. I was that nice guy turned asshole who did everything with a smile. I knew I could get away with it because that is how I came off as. The nice guy who was really out there to get what he wants for his own selfish needs. During this journey of mine, I started to objectify women, and made them out to be the enemy. I looked at women to see how far I can get with them. With this blog and how I perceived women, I felt really ashamed and embarrassed in how I was thinking. Knowing what I know now, I wish someone guided me in the right direction to where I would be the best version of myself in a positive light. I apologize for all the women that I've encountered that I've talked down to and disrespected with this blog. I know I came from a place of insecurity.
  This past year really opened my eyes about how I treated women. I was not having fun with dating anymore. It was too much work for something that should come so easily. Finding that connection with someone that you really get along with. That one person who makes you smile every time you see them. I kept hearing people say "When you know, you know". I can not emphasize how so true that statement is. I reconnected with someone from my past that made me realize that I do not want to be with anyone else but her. I did not realize this but I actually wrote about her in one of my posts. Again, the embarrassment and shame I felt knowing I wrote about someone I love, or anyone, negatively. She's the person that is making me realize how inconsiderate, disrespectful and a really really piece of shit human being I am for writing all those things.
  I hope I can motivate other guys, if they need some guidance, to look at other guys, maybe older men, who have a positive impact on you and they can teach you. Or even ask your friends who are women. Learning about women is more about knowing who you are first, because that's when women are really interested in YOU.

 

It's a start

Hey whoever is reading this,

Well, last weekend was pretty interesting. I called in sick to get more drunk at a friends birthday shindig. Ended up making out with one of the girls that came to the party and slept with her that night. I think it was the alcohol. On to the next.

Single

We'll I've been back for about a year now. Single and fucking horrible with girls. Been with that same girl for two years. Not sure if anyone is reading this, but I broke up with her because I wanted to take greedy and think about my self and my own future. In the end, I think it was best logically, though emotionally it has been a struggle. That's normal. So I'm going to get this whole getting good with girls, even socially better. Wish me luck.

I'm Back!

Hey guys not sure how many of you guys are reading this....but I'll write anyways.

Lets start with what's been happening to me in the past few months.....Well...I've been off and on with PUA stuff...meaning just being a KJ..really sad. Its okay. I've been unemployed since mid March. The whole thing with the mortgage industry is bad. I was the lucky few along with thousands of employees that got laid off from their company. Yes I've been living off of severance pay and unemployment benefits! 2006 was quite a year and 07 isn't starting off that great either. On the bright side since February I was invited to this bday party that this girl I use to party with. I met her in 06 of March or April I believe along with her sister! They're are both asian cuties. Lets call the bday girl BdayAsianHB and BDAHB's sister. The first time meeting them at a bar through a mutual friend I only remembered the sister's conversation....because I made her laugh and vice versa. Though I got BdayAsianHB's number instead because she was cuter, though I really connected with the sister who which I might is definitely cute as well. After a few months of hanging out with BdayAsianHB and having it go nowhere....I stopped hanging out with her and her friends and that was it....
So back to the bday invite...BdayAsianHB invited by texting me...I seriously didn't know who it was...cause I deleted her number. Anyways....I agreed and I was looking forward to go. And that's where it ALL started...
I saw the sister and I was just DAMN...she's fucking cute! I got her number and started talking to her after that...since February and April I hung out with her three times! She was a tough cookie. So today....she is my GF...can't believe I'm saying that..but yeah she's my gf. At first I thought man It would be nice to have her.......I was chasing her and finally got her! but here's the thing....she's the type of girl who likes to be in control. She is HORRIBLE with time. She is really INSECURE about herself, and about how I feel about her. I want to remedy this. But...having known about the community I know that I fucked! Because for one I know I can drop her and find something else....but I've never had to before. I've never manned up about dumping a girl. I don't want to. I want to see if I can do something about it. We've been going out for almost three months now. She's in love with me. I told her I was in love with her also...at the time I felt it. Now I feel like I'm lying to her when I say it. It sucks. I moved too fast and its scaring me because I was in a long term relationship for five years before..engaged...yea sucks. And I don't want that to happen again. I want to make sure that I'm making the right decision. I have to be Honest with her. So far that's the whole thing. She's my 2nd gf only. I want more experience with women before I actually my a serious committment.

Juggler Ebook....

I gotta read this again and again. Where's my highlighter...I gotta take notes down. I'm not really taking this seriously. It's obvious that I don't go out in the field enough. Approach, approach, and approach. That's the first step. Okay...go!


Oh guys,....

HBasian7 called me. My birthday is coming up in a few days, which she reminded me. I knew she wanted to tag along since she asked me what I was doing. We'll see what happens there.

Update HB8asian

I've got to learn how to do cold approaches. I just have to do it...got to, got to. Okay, this is going to be a little update on HB8asian. I talked to my coworker about her, since he does know her. He's surprised that I actually met her. I told him that she was hot, of course he wants to see a pic. She's actually on myspace...yeah myspace. So today I finally showed him the pic of her and he agrees. Not knowing what he did earlier, he told me that he emailed her saying that I met her...blah blah blah. Coworker asks her so what do you think of Derrick Song (of course not my real name, a pseudonym I thought of when I was younger...pretty lame, but I like it)? She replies back..."He's a Cool Guy". Well that's a plus. I thought she was single, but I found out from CWasiancutie that she's "dating" a fireman in San Diego. Psshh...I don't give a fuck. As long as I'm learning this...I don't care. I'm sure I can go through that, of course it might take a little time..but i'll get there. lol.

Reading Turbine's Blog's is really insightful. I really love reading guys' blogs and seeing how they've changed. It motivates me to keep on blogging and going out on the field. I have to get a better understanding of what this all means to me. I must get focused in one thing at a time. I'm all scatterbrained out. Yes...I am an info whore. I love taking all this information about PU and the bad part is that I'm not really using it. I know my friend, who knows about the community tells me this ALL THE TIME. We both want to be pretty good pick up artists. I know committment is the key. It sounds like it is to everything if you want to succeed. Props to you Turbine! Keep on going maybe we'll sarge together one day...lol.

FR: Yankee Doodles in LBC

Wassup Guys,

Got off work and CWasiancutie (coworkerasiancutie) invited to go hang out with her girls. She wants me to go to meet one of her friends which I think is really hot. HBasian8. I got to the venue around nineish, and CWasiancutie was introducing me to her friends. Shook hands with everyone...I invited some of my friends who already had a spot ready. This place is kinda like a Dave N' Busters but with a much more adult atmosphere. CWasiancutie had her group and I had mines. So we were just chilling in our own clique. HBasian8 didn't show up til 10ish. I played a few games and CWasiancutie clique was freaking loud. Girls and alcohol equals mixture of happiness and stupidity. I didn't get to meet HBasian8 til 12ish. When I finally did, I just shook her hand and smiled. We changed venues, to this bar called Gaslamp on PCH, pretty cool place, but they closed early? 1245 and they were already kicking people out. So we all decided to go down to Liquid Lounge, another bar. Pretty much I was kicking it with CWasiancutie, and my group of friends had already left. Next time, I'm going to go solo, because I didn't wanna leave my group unattended since I invited them. It was really hard to get to know the other group because of the segregation. I walked in, and started talking to some of the people in the group, and then all of a sudden, HBasian8 comes and talks to me! She was asking me if I worked with CWasiancutie

DS: Yeah, I work with CWasiancutie.
HBasian8: I work for this company, who works for Argent, do you know blah blah blah.

Realizing who she meant, I was like YEAH I do!! ....I'm in the mortgage industry, and apparently....HBasian8 works for a broker company that my company services. So it was a small world and...thus we talked about work. I was trying to relate and reward, but I felt she was kinda nervous talking to me.

Side note: Learn how to relate and reward